Idiot Parade

AOL Radio (I swear, I am the last person on Earth with AOL. Shoot me.) recently posted an article dubbed “100 Worst Songs Ever”. There has been some speculation by commenters that the author of said article is actually twelve-years-old and can’t hear these songs properly because his head is wedged some place quite unpleasant. That being said, the list isn’t a terrible one. There is an abundance of stupid, annoying, and flat-out lousy music. “My Humps” and “Hollaback Girl” deserved their places on this list. There are ten, though, that should not be anywhere near the hundred worst songs, and if anyone says otherwise, well, them’s fightin words.

97) “The Girl is Mine”, Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney

Is it MJ’s or Paul’s best work? Of course not. The lyrics are sappy and simplistic, but it is goddamn ADORABLE. It is playful and innocent. Just like “Say Say Say”, the collaboration between these two artists is delightful.

89) “Cherry Pie”, Warrant

This is a song about sex. Not love making, not wooing, just downright wild monkey sex. Sometimes that is exactly what a person needs (not that I speak from experience here….hi, Daddy!), and listening to a song about it is straight-up fun.

74) “Do They Know it’s Christmas”, Band Aid

This might be the most depressing Christmas song ever written. Ever. But it speaks the truth. And when I get caught up in the shopping and the house cleaning and the family drama, this song humbles me. Also, it was written to raise money for famine victims in Ethiopia. Stick that in your pipe, AOL. What do you have against starving African children?!

68) “Hold My Hand”, Hootie and the Blowfish

Even the writer couldn’t attack Hootie: “C’mon, it’s not their fault we overindulged on this one. If you eat too much cake, don’t blame the baker.” To sum up: Overplayed? Yes. Good song? Damn straight.

64) “Breakfast at Tiffany’s”, Deep Blue Something

Whatever happened to this band? This is some pure 90′s goodness right here. Two people bonding over a movie. Even though they’re afraid that the world will keep them apart, an innocent love of Audrey Hepburn can serve as common ground and will always bring them back to each other. Has anyone tried this approach in Israel or Palestine? Side note: if anyone wanted to put the film of the same name on a list of the worst films ever, I would not object. Has there ever been a bigger pain-in-the-ass than Ms. Golightly?

50) “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles)”, The Proclaimers

The repetitive nature of this song makes it fun to sing for everyone, period. The lyrics are to the point, and hearing them in a Scottish accent makes me all warm and fuzzy on the inside. I maintain that the author of the original article hates this song because he doesn’t know what “haver” means. Adding David Tennant to this mix only makes it sweeter.

42) “We Didn’t Start the Fire”, Billy Joel

Shit has gone on for all eternity, and the younger generations will always try to rise against it and try to make the world a happier, squishier place. This is a time honored tradition. It’s like the Circle of Life. That’s what this song represents. Yeah, Joel totally listed a bunch of people and historical and/or current events, but he made it into a song that didn’t sound like something from School House Rock. That’s impressive all by itself. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” is like a musical time capsule. How awesome would it be to hand out these lyrics as a middle school class assignment? Each group gets a stanza and they have to present a report on everything and everyone in said stanza. We should all be thanking Billy Joel for making history fun again.

25) “I’ll Be There For You (Theme from Friends)”, The Rembrandts

The bridge (“No one could ever know me”, etc) is a little awkward, but that’s a minor offense. Who can’t relate to this song, honestly? Job sucks, dating sucks, and you have no idea where your life is headed. This is a theme song for all twenty-something’s (or thirty-something’s, or forty-something’s in this economy) at one point or another, and damnit, I’m glad The Rembrandts are here for me.

21) “One Week”, Barenaked Ladies

Mostly nonsense lyrics, but a great beat and full of fabulous pop culture references. There is a reason that this song launched BNL to stardom. The Ladies rule. ‘Nuff said.

12) “Wannabe”, Spice Girls

I was torn on this one, I really was. I hated the Spice Girls all through school. I wanted to stab every girl in my class who called herself “Baby” or “Sporty”. I was the only eight-year-old female who didn’t own a Spice Girls album or their film. That being said, I heard Wannabe not too long ago, and now that I’m old enough to look past the bubblegum and moronic pseudonyms…girl power all the way. Bros before hos, chicks before dicks, it’s all the same message: this song is about prioritizing old relationships over new ones and having high standards in the dating world. Though I would appreciate it if someone would tell me what it means to “really wanna zigazig ah”.

One. Rum makes the soda foam expand more than it normally would. Choose your drinkware wisely.

Two. Drunk dialing/prank calling at one in the morning, especially when impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger and asking me who’s my Daddy, is never funny. It’s creepy and disconcerting during the event, and simply annoying the morning after.

No, I didn’t dream that. I have the record of the call in my phone. Damn you Restricted numbers!

EDIT: Are you freaking kidding me?! There’s a website dedicated to making Arnold crank calls?? DEAR GOD WHY. I’ve never hated Kindergarten Cop so much in my life.

Anyway. Now that faire is over and I’m actually home on Sunday mornings, I can get back to my weekly iLike segment. In honor of my dear cousin Emily’s recent engagement, I wanted to have a little two-part wedding post. Yay!

First up, rings:

This white gold and sapphire beauty is my very favorite custom design from Brilliant Earth. All the designs are gorgeous, but what I love most about this company is their ethical business practices. All the diamonds are Canadian or Nambain and guaranteed CONFLICT-FREE (I say that in all caps because supporting human rights is AWESOME), and 5% of the profits is donated to Africa in order to support medical aid and land restoration.

Bottom line: beautiful jewelry coming from a place with a good heart and uncompromising standards. They are a bit on the pricey side, but it would be well worth it to me, knowing that my ring didn’t support slavery.

Alright, on to the cake! Nomnomnomnomnom….

I am HUGELY torn between Pink Cake Box, a bakery in New Jersey, and Cake Nouveau in Michagan. I won’t be able to use either bakery when I get married…but they’re so preeeeeeetyy……

PCB has too many beautiful wedding cakes. Honestly. Picking an image for this post was beyond difficult, because I desperately want to post them all. Now if only they were gluten-free and in California…

This Alice in Wonderland creation from Cake Nouveau probably wouldn’t be ideal for a wedding…unless of course you’re having a Wonderland theme, which would actually be quite cool….the point is, this baker is amazing. You have to look through all the desgins to truly appreciate what an artist Courtney Clark is. Purse cakes, one to look like sushi, one like Lego Blocks, which I totally want to get for Jason’s birthday next year…stunning. Really.

Obviously, these are all for people who don’t have to stick to a budget…but hey, a girl can dream, right?

Happy Sunday!

Been a bit lax on the Sunday specials, but I found more lovely faire vendors with all sorts of pretties!

That is the Lyndriel Dress from Ravenswood Leather, and someday, it shall be mine.

Finally told one of my oldest and best friends that I have a boyfriend. I’d been putting off because of our history, and because I know that he still wants to be with me, even though the time for that passed many years ago. It’s not as though I could keep it from him, though, and I didn’t want to….but, really, it was a bit like telling a small child that Santa Claus had died from choking on one of the bones of the freshly roasted Easter Bunny. I don’t like hurting people’s feelings.

Speaking of Easter…went to Easter Mass for the first time since I was very very small. It was at faire, but it totally counts because the man performing it is a real Anglican minister. My grandmother would be so proud. Honestly, I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. I always liked the ceremony of it all. Thinking about maybe going more often, once faire is over. Who knows.

Someone please get “Hungry Like a Wolf” out of my head. Curse you, Rock Band 2!

I have to give a shout-out to Ed Fox–the purpose of the iLikes was not to be all ‘*hint-hint* You should totally get me these things’, (though if anyone actually can make me the Fraggle Rock cake for my birthday, I’ll be your slave and have 10,000 of your babies), but Ed loved the Rock-Paper-Scissor-Lizard-Spock shirt so much that he bought one for each of us. Woot sauce!

Alright, until faire is over, The iLikes will be for things sold there…hawking the wares, if you will.

First and foremost:

Yeah, there won’t be an image here. Tried to find one, could not, damnnation and hellfire.

Pale Moon

These are the most gorgeous necklaces, made of bone, and very popular among the faire participants and patrons. Got a beautiful one for my neice for her high school graduation, and I want to get the pretty acorn one for myself this year.

Off to rehearsal.

First, the iLike:

I want it, and I want it now, Rock-Paper-Sicssors-Lizard-Spock is made of win.

In other news, I’ve survived the hell that is finals. Workshops are going well. Nothing to yell or rant about, which is a nice change.

Oh, I did find this creature wandering around faire, and he’s rather adorable, so I’ve decided to keep him:

That’s all for now. Real update within the next week, I promise.

Once a week, I’m just going to post a picture and a caption of something, anything, that I’ve found and love.

As found on Cake Wrecks:

I so want it for my birthday. Down in Fraggle Rock!